Friday, December 02, 2005

Today was difficult.

Today was especially difficult to get through without breaking down. December 1st was Mom's Birthday. I love you mom. I miss you. I did well today, as I kept busy for the most part. I was somewhat in a daze though, not thinking incredibly much about things. It wasn't until later at home that I lost it.

I got home and turned on the television after supper and was watching the movie "trekkies" - funny flick. James Doogan, "Mr. Scott" was talking about a fan writing him a letter that was really a suicide letter, and how he encouraged the lady to come see him at the upcoming convention,.. and at the next convention,.. and the next,... until 8 years later after he stopped seeing her, he got a letter saying she'd gotten her Master's in Electrical Engineering and she wanted to thank him for saving her life. Jimmy Doogan was crying at that point, and so was I, as silly as that may seem. Then I flipped over and watched the last half of the movie "Switch" with Ellen Barkin and Jimmy Smitts. I like that movie, always have,.. but at the end, Ellen (the new mom) dies after childbirth, and the final scene sets Jimmy Smitts and a young daughter placing flowers on her grave as the little girl proclaims, "I love you, mommy." As if I needed anything more to prompt me. =/

I miss you mom. I love you. You are now and always will be in my heart and in my thoughts. Damn, this is tough.

2 comments:

Raene said...
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Raene said...

A great big *hugs* to you, hon. Words can never ease the pain we feel at times like these. It was good to see pictures of your mom. You have her eyes.